Mojito time!

The phone rang on the ward and then there were hurried footsteps, the curtain drew back and the lovely Nurse from earlier smiled and said, “we’re good to go!” I climbed down from the bed and burst into tears, the wait had been long, and I was now an anxious mess and scared…8 hours is a long time to sit and catastrophise.  The Nurse was lovely and reassured me, she took some details and told me I could now take my mask off.  We walked down to the theatre and I noticed it was almost 3pm. I was exhausted and tired so actually the thought of being knocked out right now was appealing.

The Anaesthetist was a different guy from this morning, he was happy and chatty and seemed excited to be knocking me out for a few hours. We talked about my nerves and he reassured me. Then they open up the back of your gown and get you to lie down…thank god I put my flashy knickers on today, I wasn’t ashamed to flash these, bright pink bad boys around! I laid on the bed and the anaesthetist explained what he was going to do, first he was going to insert the canula into the top of my hand. I didn’t mind this as I’d learnt when giving birth that there’s some good shit that goes in there. He asked me what my favourite tipple was “do you like gin?” he asked “ooh I love a pink gin” the Nurse said “aaah yeah" the anaesthetist said “I really want to like gin! I said “but I can’t stand it…it makes me sick! I’d rather have a mojito!”

“Awwww definitely!” the whole room agreed “you can’t beat a mojito!” I laid there slightly bewildered by the conversation we were having and then the Anaesthetist told me that he was sending a Mojito down the line right now to me, and I’d feel the effect straight away! Three seconds later and I was feeling aMaaaazing!! The “mojito” had kicked in and I was feeling “ready to paaaartay!” He asked me what I did for a living and I stared up at the ceiling “erm…I…think I work for the council somewhere, I can’t remember. Ooh now I do I work for a very nice Manager; we work in social services and it’s very nice.” The nurse behind me put a mask on my face and told me to take some deep breaths and that was it. I was gone. I don’t remember a thing, I didn’t hear anything, I didn’t dream I just remember waking up and my surgeon saying, “it went well Catherine…it went really well” and I went “huuuh!! Whaaat? Did it? Oh, thank you.” And I stretched my arm out to him.  The Nurse explained that I was staying in as it was late now and then I really woke up “erm NO I said…I told my daughter I’d be home and it’s Bake Off!” 

“I’m sorry she said, we need you to stay in as it’s late.” And then I puked, a lot and realised that perhaps staying in was the best idea. If that drip was going to stay in, then I’d stay in as long as they wanted me to…just keep that drip in…keep that good stuff going in. More Mojito please.