Surgery Day

Janne made a gigantic dinner the night before my surgery, after 2am I wouldn’t be able to eat so he made Ramen with chicken because it’s huge! We decided to eat in front of the TV that night and watch Parks and Recreation, we had discovered a real love for Ron Swanson, his dry humour and put downs were what I really needed to calm my nerves. I think perhaps Janne thought I was never going to eat again because he presented me with my ramen, which was so heavy that I lost my balance and poured a lot of it down a cushion and my pyjamas. I’d been hoping for an early night but now I was on cleaning up duty and was still trying to work my way through the ramen at 9.30. It was the longest dinner ever...I’d advise a takeaway and an early night.

Phoebe picked me up at 6.15am and she proceeded to drive me to the wrong hospital. She’d had to swerve back onto the ring road and head towards the hospital I was supposed to be having my surgery at. We giggled and reminisced about the same journey we had taken almost 5 years earlier when I was in labour and had to throw up in a dog poo bag in her car...good times!

I was due to check in at 7am and thinking I knew where I was going I immediately got lost and ended up stuck on the top floor. I wandered around and eventually found the day surgery reception, which was a tiny room with a reception desk and a bookcase in it. I checked in “Catherine...ooh that’s an interesting name” as I was called today and sat in the chair and scanned the books on the bookcase...there was every single copy of Fifty Shades of Grey...eurgh! I was the only person there who had packed like I was going on a mini-break, one guy had only his phone, wallet and a book. The woman opposite had managed to squeeze everything into an oversized handbag. 

I was the last to be called through “Catherine...what’s your last name?” I smiled weakly and followed the nurse through to check in and to get tagged up. I was then shown to a large waiting area with a giant TV, which was showing BBC Breakfast News...every now and again the picture wobbled and disappeared. I hoped it wouldn’t be a long wait. Before surgery you meet with the surgeon and the anaesthetist, they ask you a lot of questions including “do you snore?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that, do I snore? Certainly not! “I don’t think I do, but my husband would probably say otherwise!” I said. The anaesthetist wrote down that I do, he was losing points here.  We talked a lot about the anaesthetic and he reassured me that it was safer having the anaesthetic than driving down the M1, it’s funny I thought because actually a journey down the M1 was more appealing right now. After the anaesthetist, I was then seen by the surgeon and we chatted about the procedure, he then stared at me and started to draw on my neck. Afterwards he told me not to worry it looked like I was first up so by lunchtime I should be getting ready to go home. This was great news. I went back to the waiting area and sat with another lady having the same op as me. I didn’t tell her the arrow that they had drawn on her neck looked a bit like a willy! However when I caught sight of myself I too had a willy pointing right at the lump in my neck...all I hoped was that it would wash off because I couldn’t cope with this and a scar. 

By 9am I was ready and waiting to be called, the ward was buzzing as people started to arrive and one by one everyone was called to get gowned up. Everyone apart from me, minutes turned into hours...people started to take their breaks. We had moved from breakfast news to Bargain Hunt and I was starting to feel dehydrated and hungry. Nobody said a word to me. Only Richard Osman and his cosy crime kept me company and as my anxiety got worse I wasn’t sure how much more waiting I could take...what was going on? I was supposed to be sat having tea and toast now!