The Dreaded Radio-iodine Diet

I’m not a dieter and can’t say I have consciously made an effort to try one.  I know when I’m being bad and need to restrain myself and sometimes I just don’t and deal with the consequences the best way I know how. My best ever diet was the wedding diet, when I got so stressed out I couldn’t face chocolate and then the commuter diet, where I used to have to run for my train every morning and evening, which seemed to burn off any calories I had consumed during the day.  Neither come highly recommended.

A week ago I began the Radio-Iodine diet.  For the most part I feel very confused by what I can and can’t eat and trying to remember what those things are.  This morning I already tried to put yoghurt on my shredded wheat before remembering I can’t have it and then proceeded to try and put the yoghurt in the cupboard and the shredded wheat in the fridge. You see, it’s already messing with my brain.  The list is now propped up on the kitchen counter, I’ve been told not to search on the internet for information as it will just confuse me more and most of the sites are American where because they add iodine to their salt, you can pretty much eat nothing but a lettuce leaf...and that’s if you can find one.

Whilst my diet is pretty good, I’ve had to turn Vegan for the next few week’s to accommodate it. No dairy, no chocolate or cake, mayonnaise, butter, pancakes! Fish is another along with seafood.  It actually isn’t too bad but navigating around dairy so far is tricky.  They also told me to make sure I don’t eat seaweed, kelp and laverbread...laverbread? Throw out all the laverbread Janne...we won’t be able to eat for a month! 

I’ve now switched to oat milk, which actually I don’t mind in my coffee but I may as well accept that my tea is going to taste weird for a while. The hardest thing, I think is remembering that I can’t eat all of these things, it’s like being pregnant again when I used to cry to Janne in the supermarket because I didn’t know if I could eat the cheese that was on the pizza he wanted to get but now I can’t console myself with chocolate or cake.  It’s lunchtime now and Janne is treating us to sandwiches from the bakery, which is great except he’s now got to order my usual with a lot of awkward specifications and it’s going to taste so boring because I can’t have butter, salad cream or mayonnaise. Honestly in reality it’s a small sacrifice to make to get well again and at least I can eat and don’t have to deprive myself of much...the day before I started the diet I ate chocolate, seafood, dairy and that big tub of Ben and Jerry’s I’d stashed in the freezer so I’m good for a bit, like a camel again.