FNA and Henry Cavill

I wanted to talk about the FNA process separately because I know the thought of it is really scary. One it’s a biopsy and that alone is scary and two let’s address the elephant in the room here it’s a chuffin’ needle in your neck!! I try to look for a positive in everything and in this situation I had decided the positive here was that I was going to get to lie down for a bit and close my eyes, so that was a bit of a bonus, it’s a rarity these days with kids...and a husband!

What I will say is this, try not to worry. It really isn’t that bad. The hardest part is trying not to swallow, and for some reason I kept holding my breath instead. For about a second there is a tiny pin prick in your neck and then you just occasionally feel this weird sensation of something moving in there. You kind of get the urge to scratch it or wiggle around a lot as it makes you feel a bit squirmy. With all the adrenaline too it’s really hard to keep still, I could feel my legs juddering and my eyes, although they were closed were twitching like mad. I must have looked ridiculous. 

To try and calm myself I decided to try a bit of meditation, which was too hard so instead I tried to think of something nice, something beautiful, I decided to think of Henry Cavill. My friend had sent me a gif of Henry winking and I played it over and over in my mind as they prodded around in my neck trying to get some cells out.

It’s pretty much over before you get to run off into the sunset with Henry but in my case they wanted two samples so they gave me 5 minutes before we had to do it all again. This time I could feel myself getting hotter and a rising tide of nausea. Henry had pissed off and I started to panic a bit in case I threw up all over everyone. They removed the needle and I almost got a round of applause before somebody asked if I was OK, apparently I had turned a lovely shade of grey. At this point I will add it really hadn’t been that traumatic but for some reason my body reacted and really didn’t like the needle. I’ve never passed out before but everything all seemed a bit far away and I felt like I was sweating. I had permission to remove my mask and the nurse handed me a cool glass of water and whilst yes vodka may have been more ideal at this moment in time, I really wasn't in a position to complain. If anything I felt a bit of an idiot...there’s always one that’s a bit dramatic and here I was. The consultant waved the tubes of cells and blood around, which really didn’t help with the nausea. She wasn’t convinced she’d managed to get anything. The nodule was pretty vascular and she told me in these cases the blood tends to obscure the results. In this case she said it would be pointless to put me through that again and surgery may be likely. Surgery? I chose to ignore that and felt suddenly much better and decided now was a good time to make my escape. I wobbled back through the hospital looking a bit like a Thunderbird puppet, I want to say Lady Penelope but it was probably more like Parker, no matter how hard I tried to walk normally I just couldn’t manage it...my legs just seemed disengaged with the rest of my body and then it dawned on me, how the hell was I going to drive like this? 

Picture: Pinterest