FNA

Fine Needle Aspiration. I've added this picture here because it's so realistic of how I looked having my FNA!!

 

Picture credit: Moffit Cancer Center

When that letter drops through inviting you to your scan with possible FNA the nicest way I can put this is...I weed myself! Well, not really but I could have. It wasn’t so much the ultrasound it was the little leaflet inside that explained what an FNA was. Basically they were going to stick a needle in my neck, wiggle it around a bit and all would be well. We would also find out what was going on in there. What I was hoping was that it would be either a) a build up of chocolate from excessive chocolate eating, most likely in my case a Cadbury's Creme Egg, b) a fat neck for which a chin lift would be mandatory (I hate my double chin) c) my identical twin (if you've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding you'll know what I mean!)

On the day of the FNA I thought it would be a good idea to drive myself there, my husband annoyingly doesn’t drive but he agreed to accompany me anyway. With Covid he would have to sit in the car, which I’m pretty sure he was happy about...he doesn’t do blood or needles. I don’t know why but I’d dressed up a bit for the occasion, put the good underwear on and a nice mask...just in case that I should pass out and actually wee myself. It was a pretty grim afternoon, it was raining and starting to get dark as I made my way into the hospital and wandered around looking for Ultrasound. I figured I’d be waiting a while so I scrolled through Facebook and waited for them to call “Catherine...oooh I don’t think I’m going to attempt that!” 

They called me a lot sooner than I would have liked, I was just getting into a pointless article about celebrities and their weird habits (who researches this crap and why do I read it?) When they called me. The lady that called me attempted my surname but it came out as Onion and then everyone in the waiting room stared at me. I walked nervously along the corridor and the thing is when I get nervous I talk a lot and most of it is utter shite! I babbled along and was greeted by a crowd of people in the room two consultants, 2 nurses and 2 students! It was the most people I’d been in a room with since before lockdown...I got a bit excited about this and cracked a bad joke along these lines, bloody hell who was I? These people were probably glad to be jabbing me with a needle to shut me up. 

Having students in a room is a great thing I found. The consultant explained a lot to them and in turn this meant I heard a lot that I probably wouldn’t have had they not been there. Everything was explained...and there it was just as I had thought a giant mass of chocolate...not really, it was a rather large thyroid nodule, my first sighting of my new troublesome friend.